Life is just so random, isn’t it? Every moment you think you have it planned and just the next instant the bubble goes pop, your delusion shatters, life throws a lightning bolt at you with full force- from direction you least expect it to.
Before college (well, first year to be more precise), I always felt I was in control of my life. Everything was so well planned, and all plans seemed to work so well. But somehow everything has changed. I just cannot feel the power in my hands any more- I am being controlled, controlled by a force so distant, so far away yet so powerful I cannot shake it off. I have tried so hard to do so- I have tried to control my life with plans and even more plans but the force always seems to win.
May be the force is not trying to control me you know, may be it is trying to help me out. May be it is actually trying to teach me what life “really” is and how I should go about leading it.
You know what? I think this might be true. Come to think of it, I had been thrown so many chances, so many opportunities during the past two years- opportunities I have used and been happy about, opportunities I have not used and regretted, opportunities I have used and regretted, opportunities I never identified.
May be the force was teaching me how to dance on chances. But may be sometimes- sometimes it is just important to let go- after all , you might dance and fall you know. But then again , may be the end result will be worth the fall. May be I should try harder from now. May be that will bring back the control on my life I have missed these past few years. I want to win. Even if I don’t, I atleast want to say I tried my best, that I used all opportunities that came my way.
But what about the chances I have missed? Can I have them back? Can I be allowed to dance again on those old tunes which I never heard but should have? Can I make up for lost opportunities? Well, lets give it a try, shall we? :)
Dont try too hard. if you think you ll be able to regain control over your life, you ll be in for further surprises! this is a truth we never ever realize. no matter how much control we try to exercise the boat will capsize someday. just let life happen to you and this is the most difficult thing to do. we talk, we philosophize, but we can never apply them in the true sense of the term. so i think trying to allow life to happen to us in its own way is what we must try to do. dont go back to those lost opportunities, they were meant to be lost!
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