I've been thinking

I’ve been thinking - for the past twenty four hours that is the only thing I’ve been doing. I’ve been thinking before that too you know- a lot really, good God, now that I think of it, that’s how I have spent most of my life - simply thinking, thinking about my career, my future, my dreams, desires and aspirations, my wants, my needs – in short just thinking about me. But where has all this thinking led to. Have I been able to answer those questions which have led me into thinking in the first place?

These past two months have thrown new light into my life, probably given me a purpose, a dream. For the first time, I can probably spell out what I like and what I don’t like, what I enjoy and what I detest- especially in matters related to my career. The past two months have given me the confidence I so badly needed- but like all good medicines- they have come with side-effects- they have shown me what I want but not how to get it, they have shown me what I’ll get in the end but not what I shall lose on the way, lose in order to bear the storm on my path to my desires.
They have created hope in a man who was living a wonderfully peaceful life of ignorance.

I want my own individuality, my own persona, but is it possible to have an individuality if your views, your dreams and aspirations go against the expectations your loved ones have of you?
And then again, is it so necessary to always try and fulfill their dreams even if they go against yours? Is it necessary that in order to achieve the larger goal, the bigger dream, you have to sacrifice the small little day-to-day moments that make life so memorable? Does something you love always have to be sacrificed along the way? Does moving on always mean leaving behind? Can we not have them all? Can we not balance everything? God can, and if I remember correctly, some old wise man had said that God created Man in his image..so why can’t we? Is it tough? Is it impossible? Or is it not just worth the risk?

As usual, my thinking has brought up more questions than answers. Seriously, help me!!

Hyd, work, fun and dreams

“All good things come to an end “ – this century-old adage somehow thrusts its full meaning upon me, now that I have come to an end of two simply great months in the big city of Hyderabad. From the very beginning itself , we were probably destined to have a great time together – Rahul, Ankur and myself – the only ones thrust in a triple sharing room in spite of our repeated pleas to be converted to single or double-shared ones. From then on, its been one hell of a joy-ride- from the stupid, so-called “horror” movie we had to see because some stupid idiot had recommended it to Rahul ( I don’t remember the name, thank god !!!); to the numerous phone calls he received from some confidential client in Ahmedabad; Ankur’s Houston dreams; our games of fooseball and air hockey where we created more boohoo than the class 6 kids who were there; our visits to Golconda, Hard Rock and of course watching Miss Andhra Pradesh live without entry tickets ( I still say the girl in green should have won!!!) ; shopping like crazy ; spending days on pearls selection; dinners and treats and of course, the two-hour ( 1hr 45 mins to be exact) escapade at BB Nation. Will surely miss those days !!

Vivek, the lone “dude” of our team, Mohit- the cute Casanova we all ragged, Pranav- the “nehli”, Marut- the serious worker, Vikrant and Paras- “just married” , and dhama- “jisne drl ka parda phaas kar diya “- thank you all for making these two months so memorable. We had fun together, prepared and practiced presentations together and also watched that crap of a film in that awesome of a place.

Special mention must go to all the fun we had at CTO-III- waiting in lifts, fixing lunch times at 1:15- all for our “ dreams”- and , of course the risk analysis that always went with these .But we must admit, without Vibha, our lives at CTO- III would have been a tad duller- disturbing her at work always gave so much pleasure.

On the work side, its been a great experience too- first time in the industry, working on an important project, watching and helping people implement our work, working with so many people in tandem, taking time out to visit various sections of the plant together and of course solving puzzles, reading epapers and teaching everyone how to use facebook even when its supposed to be blocked. My guide, Vijaysarathi sir (who, by the way, gives wonderful treats), has been a great inspiration, his methods and approach were awe-inspiring.

These two months have come to an end, but hopefully what I have gained out of it- the learnings, the friends- shall remain forever.