Perspectives

It was only today that one of my friends blogged about Calcutta rains. I must thank her for reminding me of my childhood and for unknowingly inspiring me to write again.

1.

He proceeded along the newly renovated pavements of FD Block, Salt lake with his hands balled up in his pockets to give himself a semblance of warmth on this cold windy evening. Walking as briskly as an opposing strong wind and the fatigue of a long, hard day at work would allow, he headed in search of Flat no. 453 where the last so-called sponsorship prospect lay ready to ruin his day even further, to throw him out of the house with utmost respect on his façade and total disregard for his work on his mind.

It was then that something cold hit his head, not once, not twice but like a continuous stream of cold, sharp bullets. He looked up to see the rain gods hurling their blessings upon him- a blessing he would gladly live without in this day and time- a blessing he could -if within his powers- let the world live without.

For he hated the rains. Rains reminded him of love, of romance, of the girl who could never be his. He remembered those days he spent getting drenched in the rains to be with her, the days he would leave his emergency umbrella locked up inside his room in the hopes that he would be able to spend some quality time with her in the “kalboishakhi” winds- all those days for nothing!!!

That beautiful, innocent face giggling away and tempting him to join her outside the house, a face full of the purity and innocence with which she had once loved him- only to go away to London without even a proper goodbye, without any explanations or letters or emails or promises of keeping in touch.  How cruel could she be!

The rains were now pouring down even stronger with a force that seemed to be generated to tear him down to pieces.  The sky turned darker and darker as if the devil himself was taking over the world and snatching away the sun. He could stand it no longer- the images of his childhood days flashed before his eyes-  days he spent inside the house- sad without his friends, watching the rains through the window and cursing them for ruining the planned cricket match in the neighbourhood or the school picnic or the movie day.

He could drag himself along no more- the brunt of the rain was too much for him- the brunt of depression and sad memories. Approaching in the distance he saw a yellow and black ambassador car and signalled for it to stop. The cabbie opened the window and asked “where to?”  He thought for a moment about the reply, and with a quivering voice said “Anywhere but here”

2.

He proceeded along the newly renovated pavements of FD Block, Salt lake- arms open, chest wide, breathing in the cool wind of the evening and rejoicing in the thought of another prospect lying  few hundred metres away , a faint glimmer of hope still lighting up his already bright eyes in spite of the bad day at work. He knew this person would be a challenge to convince, but he was looking forward to it- ready to answer all his queries, to pitch no matter what.  What was there to lose after all! The wind seemed to bring about a spring in his step, making him forget the long, hard day at work he had just come out of.

It was then that something cold hit his head- a continuous stream of flowers showered upon you at a wedding. He looked up to see the rain gods and their blessings being showered upon him- a blessing he was praying for the whole day.

For he loved the rains. Rains reminded him of love, of romance, of the girl whom he loved with all the passion and warmth that a fifteen year old boy could muster. He remembered those days he spent getting drenched in the rains to be with her, the days he would leave his emergency umbrella locked up inside his room in the hopes that he would be able to spend some quality time with her in the “kalboishakhi” winds- those days which would be etched in his memory forever like pages of his favourite book, like the taste of his favourite dish.

That beautiful, innocent face giggling away and tempting him to join her outside the house, a face full of the purity and innocence with which she had once loved him- but she had had to go away with her father to London and go away she did.  There were no sad goodbyes, no tears, no letters or emails or false promises of keeping in touch and remembering the other forever- she remained the perfect memory, the crest with no trough, the most beautiful gift of his life.

The rains brought back other memories too- of the days he had to stay inside the house unable to go for the planned cricket match in the neighbourhood or the school picnic or the movie day. He remembered those days fondly for those days he could spend more time with dad, with mom. Those days he could pester his dad to read him a book or go to the kitchen with his mom to gossip with her while she was cooking!

Yes the rain gave him hope- hope of a good life, hope of reliving those wonderful moments again.

Approaching in the distance he saw a yellow and black ambassador and signalled for it to stop. The cabbie opened the window and asked “where to?”  He thought for a moment about the reply, and with a voice full of the energy and enthusiasm which he could gather said “I need to go to flat 453. Tell me the way and I shall walk”

Life is all about perspectives my dear friend. It’s simply about the one you choose to live with,

A train journey

Not fully original, and I must agree, also a bit exaggerated. Inspired from an article I had read in Hyderabad nearly a year ago

I have had very few experiences of traveling alone in a long-distance train but the few that I have had have shaped my opinions about train journeys to a great extent. Like any other novel scientific experiment -from which we have high hopes but aren’t too confident about the results due to its unpredictable nature- railway journeys too can be broken into a series of simple steps

Step 1: Finding your train

Considering that you must have already reserved your berth and therefore know your berth and coach number (you aren’t such a novice after all)..But what you do not know is the platform number. At places like Howrah station where you have different sets of platforms, you might well find yourself shuttling back and forth the kilometer distance between the sets( okay the actual distance may be much less but try walking it through the crowd with all the luggage and you’ll get my point). Some lady does keep announcing the numbers but you really have to be a first class code breaker or have the ears of a dog to understand what she says- for the amplitude of the voice reduces drastically just as the number is announced – “PLATFORM NUMBER two “. Nor is the enquiry office any help for by the time you get to actually cross the queue and pose your question, your train would have reached the next station. Finally, if you are lucky, the electronic boards get updated just in time for you to reach your train in time (by which time your neck has suffered severe crams due to the continued craning at odd angles). In case you do not trust technology --especially when handled by the Govt of India-- its best to ask the info politely of a chaiwaala . In case politeness doesn’t work, you have to spend five whole rupees on a cup of tea you dont even want to have. You might also take the help of a coolie nearby, although, I must warn you, not everybody wearing red clothes is a coolie.

Step 2: Finding your place in the train

Well, contrary to popular (and wise) opinion, train coaches are somehow not always numbered in serial order (at least they never have on the trains I have to get on). You go past S1, S2, S3, and S4 only to find no trace of your coach S5. Finally when you do find your coach, you find that somebody (or that somebody’s luggage) is sitting on your seat. You timidly ask “Sir, I think 44 is my seat, sir” “oh is it then “ and then you wait for five whole minutes for him to get up, probably not being satisfied with only two references to him as “Sir”

Step 3: Finding place for your luggage

Since you are not the first to have arrived in your coach, all the luggage space has already been taken. So you twist and turn all the other baggage to make space for your own. “Handle that case carefully son. There are valuable breakables inside”- the old man orders you, not caring enough to help you out with their own precious articles. Finally you realize that half your luggage has to be kept on your berth and used as a pillow while sleeping. You wonder “cavemen must have used rocks as pillows, right? Well these are just suitcases. I’ll do just fine” and you resign yourself to your fate.

Step 4: Knowing your fellow passengers

Trust me; unless there’s a hot girl around, you had better avoid this step (not that you will be able to do much with a hot girl around anyway). Big families on the train are a big headache. Yes, you do get to swoop in on the numerous eatables they have with them ( that too right from the word GO), but even then it is not worth the pain and agony of long-drawn antaaksharis with 10 year olds and or listening to free advice from unknown 50 year olds. Wodehouse is probably your best companion during those 20-30 odd hours.

Step 6: The nights

Well, do not sleep. Even if the people scold you and plead you to switch off all the lights do not do that. Keep watch on your luggage. Even if you do doze off make sure you have one of your hands, legs or any other body part (subject to availability) covering up your unlocked luggage. Read books and make sure you haven’t eaten enough to have to go for an early morning emergency. That way is the safest.

Also if your train is bound to be travelling through Bihar or UP or MP ( or rather any god damn part of the country), you are bound to have numerous ticketless passengers fly in into your reserved compartment ( so what if you paid a thousand bucks more than these guys just for the tickets). Not only do they drop in like those unwanted “blessings” showered from birds flying over your head, they also demand to be seated and are ready to take up a huge argument with you regarding human rights and the dignity of all human beings if you even so much as grudge the extra space to them. They are however a very short-lasting affair (much unlike Ekta Kapoor’s saas-bahu serials). So just wait till the storm subsides.

Step 7 : The goodbye.

By now, you are desperately longing to step foot into your destination. You leap up with joy when you know it’s time to get off. The train stops at the desired station. You thank God that there have been no derailments, crashes or Maoist attacks (much to the chagrin of the media guys). You step out of the train, breathe in the fresh air of the new city and get ready to face life’s next challenge-

The taxiwaalas!

Life, friendship and economics

Like any other good engineering student graduating from the hallowed walls of IIT, I too have taken up a keen interest in the principles of economics- the tryst begins with it being a relief from ordinary engineering courses only to continue and become the course you like most. Till now, however, I had only considered those principles to be applied to goods, products and markets. Now that I consider its implications on life in general, economics becomes more attractive with a whole new area of fun applications.
Economics 101 : Supply remaining constant, price goes up if demand increases and vice versa.
Well, I never really had much against this rule. True for any profession ( reason why my brother joined commercial pilot training after school, demand was high , supply of pilots wasn’t keeping up) ; in relations too the law holds. Demand being equivalent to the need for companionship, friendship; a person to trust, to speak to, to enjoy with. Supply – the availability of the person in question. During times of sorrow, during bad,harsh,rough times the person closest and most easily available becomes your best friend. The price ( importance of person) goes up.
I must say I have been able to follow eco101 quite well over the years, having been there for my friends during times of need.

Economics 102: Demand remaining constant, price goes down if supply increases and vice versa.
This is the principle which has troubled me the most. You see , its been often that I have made myself freely available that my importance( price) has gone down drastically. Sometimes this excess supply of friendship and care has reached the levels of being nagging or intrusive, thus leading to some friendships to have been almost completely destroyed ( product failure in market due to excess supply and even greater perception of supply). I had previously not believed in applying this dictum in life ( having always believed in being there for the people I care about at every point in time), but now it seems eco102 does hold true. After all , who likes nagging, especially in today’s world where even love and friendship are commodities whose supply needs to be controlled ( excuse me sounding a bit aggressive here. Although I do hold the human values of love and friendship in very high esteem, sometimes-just sometimes-I had been made to think otherwise )
You see , the important thing is to regulate the timing of your production( and hence supply) to coincide with good demand levels. The trick is to make yourself available only when you are welcome , and even more when you are needed.

Here crop up some other familiarities too. Any person with knowledge of eco101 and eco102 would be tempted to suggest that we should reduce supply in days of constant demand in order to raise prices. However, that is not the way to go about it , because of what is called product replacement ( Economics 103) whereby you lose market share to a competitor. A perfect market is where all players play in harmony ( all people are friends and also competitors and benefit one another).
So how do you increase your prices?
Economics 104: Competitive advantage
You must build a niche for yourself in the marketplace, increase your demand and hence your prices. You make yourself so important to your loved ones that they never forget you. You make yourself so valuable in your profession, in your workplace that people cannot ignore you*.
Economics 105: Price correction.
The market may value a product incorrectly now but it will correct the prices at a later point in time
So even if after all your sincere efforts, you don’t think you are valued highly enough, no need to get depressed . You will get your share of importance (prices) sooner or later.

*born out of a discussion with a friend over some wonderful tea and ham sandwich 

Disclaimer : the eco principles mentioned ( and especially their order) should not be challenged by any economics expert :P ..i did not, after all, take up any eco courses

friends...

I have spent most of the last two weeks in Calcutta – after the extreme and frequent highs and the i-don’t-think-they-ever-existed lows of Spring Fest (yes, that is why my status message read “it’s that time of the year again”), it was what I had thought would be a few weeks of relaxation and the beginning of preparations for the upcoming interviews.

But that was not meant to be- it really never is when I am in Cal actually- thanks to all my school buddies who made sure that I spent this time in as “fruitful” a manner as possible. What with stupid, funny, totally different movies on Tuesdays to surprise visits to SomePlace Else for a friend’s jazz show (yes, yes you heard it right, my friend’s a singer and yes she gives mesmerizing performances), it’s been a great two weeks really.

But now that I am at another turning point in my life, it makes me wonder where all this shall be when I am gone. I would be shifting to Bangalore or Ahmedabad in a few months’ time. I will be losing on these frequent awesome little times that I have had these past few years. I am a little scared, you know, scared that the deeper I delve into my academics and work; I will drift away from these friends of mine. I have always prided myself in being the glue which has held our little group of friends together. What will happen without me? Maybe they will get another anchor to hold them ashore. But they will not phase me out totally will they? I will not do the same to them, will I? Trust me, I don’t want to. They have been the most special people in my life. They have been the ones I have turned to whenever I have been sad, depressed, afraid or happy. Calling them up or disturbing them continually on gtalk have been a well-developed habit of mine.

Yes, I probably have had these same feelings before too- four years ago when I shifted here to Kharagpur, but then distance (or rather the lack of it) had helped. Now it shall be time for a little more effort probably. But you never want to lose your most precious possessions do you? You just cling on to them till time eternity….

Trapped!

This story is a vague recollection of one I had heard some 4 years ago. The significance of the story had not struck me then. Nor do I remember clearly how it went or how it ended. But this is how I imagine, it should have gone

Simba waited patiently for the familiar click of the lock as the keeper closed the steel cage behind him. But, there was none. He waited until the keeper had vanished into the horizon and cautiously ambled his way towards the door. Yes , he had heard right. There had been no click. The door was open!

Ever since he had been brought to this zoo three years ago, he had dreamt of this moment- the moment of escape, of freedom. But now that this moment stared him in the face, he was too afraid to look. He gently moved forward and thrust his paw against the door. It shot open. Yes! He stepped out of the cage and had barely walked two steps when thunder struck. Scared and insecure, Simba ran back into the protective covers of his cage- to its furthest, deepest and darkest corner.

He tried not to look, but the open cage door kept beckoning him- kept seducing him with promises of freedom, of hope. He started pacing up and down the cage. He remembered those good old days when chasing those darned bucks had been an act of sheer pleasure and thrill. He remembered also those depressing days he had to go through when he could not find a kill, also the sheer ecstasy and peace when he killed a fat one and knew he wouldn’t have to run after one again for the next one week. He remembered those lazy afternoons he had spent with his pack on the rocks bathing in the sun.

All of a sudden, another thunderbolt brought him back to his present. Times were good here- steady and secure. He liked the keeper. He brought him his food daily- nice and cut- and always on time. He knew a few of the other lions here too. He had struck up a good friendship with them, esp with Keira. Oh, how could he leave her? May be he could attempt to run away with her. But will she be ready? And then again will it be worth the effort. Yes, he did get awfully bored here. His tenacity had gone- little children were no longer scared when he growled. But will he be able to survive in the jungle after such a long break. Will he be able to hunt?

Yes, he had heard talks of this zoo being made more spacious, more organized. This probably meant a bigger cage, better food, maybe even some space to move about outside the cage. But outside he shall be free, completely and truly.

Several times he walked out of his cage only to be attracted inwards again by its safety and security. The clouds had parted and the full moon shone upon the pathway ahead, the pathway to freedom but a pathway with its own risks attached.

Back at the keeper’s home, he suddenly realized his folly and rushed back to the zoo. The door was shut but nothing could be seen. As he peeked inwards , he caught a glimpse of Simba- his head on the ground between his legs, deep in thought, oblivious of the flies resting on it- the look of an animal truly trapped.

Of chances and dances

Life is just so random, isn’t it? Every moment you think you have it planned and just the next instant the bubble goes pop, your delusion shatters, life throws a lightning bolt at you with full force- from direction you least expect it to.

Before college (well, first year to be more precise), I always felt I was in control of my life. Everything was so well planned, and all plans seemed to work so well. But somehow everything has changed. I just cannot feel the power in my hands any more- I am being controlled, controlled by a force so distant, so far away yet so powerful I cannot shake it off. I have tried so hard to do so- I have tried to control my life with plans and even more plans but the force always seems to win.
May be the force is not trying to control me you know, may be it is trying to help me out. May be it is actually trying to teach me what life “really” is and how I should go about leading it.

You know what? I think this might be true. Come to think of it, I had been thrown so many chances, so many opportunities during the past two years- opportunities I have used and been happy about, opportunities I have not used and regretted, opportunities I have used and regretted, opportunities I never identified.

May be the force was teaching me how to dance on chances. But may be sometimes- sometimes it is just important to let go- after all , you might dance and fall you know. But then again , may be the end result will be worth the fall. May be I should try harder from now. May be that will bring back the control on my life I have missed these past few years. I want to win. Even if I don’t, I atleast want to say I tried my best, that I used all opportunities that came my way.

But what about the chances I have missed? Can I have them back? Can I be allowed to dance again on those old tunes which I never heard but should have? Can I make up for lost opportunities? Well, lets give it a try, shall we? :)

A walk to remember

It was the best dinner he had had in his lifetime- and the worst food (well this one’s probably because he had to eat vegetarian dishes!) . It was a dinner he had been looking forward to for long, since that day when a little angel had come out of the skies and struck into his heart the arrow of love- an arrow by the name of ( well, let her name be, shall we? ).He had never been able to ask her out before- he hadn’t managed this feat this time around either. It was a casual “let’s have some food” by the girl in question that had resulted in this going out. It went pretty well too- no candles, no violins in the background, just the flame of love burning brightly in one heart and the joy of having found a new good friend looking for residence space in another, and silence supervising the two with tender, gentle authority.

However, it was not the dinner that was the best part of the night- it was the walk after that- that long walk on that cold, winter night when God had ordered the moon to shine brighter than ever before, as if trying to match the brightness in the mood of this young man; and the winds to blow stronger thus clearing the streets to make sure that no one interferes in the making of a memory that he shall take to his grave- smiling.

He just wanted to keep looking at her till they reached her house. He wanted to drink in the beauty of the girl of his dreams till time eternity, till someone throws buckets of water on him and shouts “ wake up” – because for this young man, this night – as magical as it was in itself- was no short of a dream.

He had heard however- in movies , books and from friends- of the importance of a conversation in the beginning of a relationship. Why in that movie he had seen the other day, that gem of a girl had fallen for that idiot of a guy just after the first conversation- the guy had said something really wonderful- surely he had been taught to say so,-
Oh! If I could only remember what he had said, maybe I could use the dialogue too. No, no.I have always been good at talking to girls. Why the hell cant I think of anything to say right now? Say something. Anything.
Girl : Would you like to have some gum?
I would like to have anything you give me dear. I love you and if it means having to share that stupid bubble gum with you, no problems.
Boy: Yes, gum would be perfection.
What the hell was that? Could have said gum would be nice, could have said yeah I’ll have some. No, for me gum is PERFECTION. Stupid Chandler and stupid friends. No more TV series from today.
Boy : So tell me about your crushes?
Do you really wanna know? U foolish..oh wait shes saying something..
Girl: Well, not crushes really. Just some people I liked a little more than others.
Duh, still crush.
Girl: You remember X. He was such a nice guy. Was one guy I truly respected.
Yeah, respect him. That’s it. No more okay?
G: And then there was Y. All the girls had a crush on him.
Playboy(Grrr…). May crows team up and shit on his head.
G: Oh! I forgot about Z. Loved his hairstyle.
May a monkey come and scratch all his hair away. May he get dandruff and lice all over.
The boy touched his own head. He had started to grow bald.
Yup, its final. Doctors appointment next week.
G: What about you?
B: Me!! Well I did have a crush on A,B and C. but ...
What ? When did you have a crush on anybody. Mr. movie guy, that jealousy thing of yours better work else I just lied uselessly to a girl I never want to lie to.
B: Tell me something. What do you look for in a guy anyway?
Textbook question. Atleast theres nothing to mess up here.
G: (a) I should love him. (b) He should love me .
(a)Donno. (b)+10.
G: Oh. And © Should not be studious people like you IITans. And she smiles.
-100.Why did I ever give IITJEE. We aren’t studious really. What the hell, nobody believes us anyways. Whats that smile for? It aint a normal smile is it? It’s a mischievous one. Or is it really? God!! Show me some light here.
G: Look at those stars. Arent they just too beautiful? I sometimes think stars are God’s daffodil chain, don’t you too?
Yes,I love stars. I love daffodils. But they are two different things.
And then he looked at her. The pure , milky white face, those blue, dreamy eyes, the hair just let loose to flow so freely in the wind- for that one precise moment, he could accept stars to be God’s cows too, forget daffodils or chains.
B: “For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.”
G: Oh you like poems. And nature too. Great!
Nailed it!! Thank you, Wordsworth sir!
G: You know my friend…
There is no need to bother the readers with treatise on the girl’s friends. But what you should all know is one thing- time had stood still for our hero ( I guess that’s the first thing that happens in any little love story) and the entire night remained etched in his memory forever.

Finally, they reached her house. It was time to say- not goodbye but those three magical words he had told himself in front of his broken mirror so many times that day.
B: You know . I’ve been meaning to tell you something.
Cliches again. How many times did we practice your opening line…anyways go on, continue you idiot..
G: You know , you are one of the sweetest friends I have. Its so great to talk to you. Be my friend and remain so, will you?
B: I love…
G: You know that’s the best part about you and M and N and D…I can talk to you guys freely, sure that there won’t develop any other kinds of feelings between us. Anyways, I shall be leaving tomorrow. There’ s this guy .lets see what happens..will definitely keep you in the loop..By the way you were saying something?
< Sound of glass shattering>Okay say something. Yes. No. Sure. I love you. Anything
B: I was saying I loved your dress. And sure, friends forever.
So girly man! But definitely the truth. She looks pretty in any dress.
And she walked away- leaving her scent lingering behind. The guy waited, till the light in her room went off, till he could smell her perfume no more.

Two years hence and he is now one of her close friends. And she’s seeing someone. She smiles, but he is not the reason for it, yet that is one smile he yearns to see everyday. She does not depend on him. They do hang around sometimes. And he is happy with that. Its one-way love, its love nonetheless. She knows when she asks for help if in trouble, many people will be there to help her; when she needs a friend, there will be many to comfort her; what she doesn’t know is that one of those friends loves her like anything, one of those friends makes sure that she doesn’t have to call if in trouble but makes himself available before any such need arises; one of those friends just wants to see her happy!

With anyone.

And he is right now having the second best dinner of his lifetime. May the walk go better this time!