A letter to God

Have you ever experienced that eerie touch on your shoulders of what they call ‘loneliness’, of desertion, of being left alone when you least expected to be? When you suddenly realized that the feeling of safety you had harbored for so long had been a mirage? Have you ever experienced what it feels when you close your eyes for a few seconds – safe and confident in your well-known surroundings- only to open your eyes and find yourself standing all alone in a boat in the middle of the vast empty blue of the ocean, just a row in hand? Of course you haven’t. Else you wouldn’t be who you are, isn’t it?

I wonder why I am actually writing you this letter. I don’t even know where to post it to. I shall maybe just let it fly- fly with the wind- to wherever destiny takes it. Maybe it will reach you. Maybe it won’t. May be I shall never know. May be I don’t really care. May be I just wanted someone to talk to right now, and you are the only one who’s free- in this fast-paced , ever busy world, where no one seems to have any time for others, you are the only one who’s free.

All I want to know is this- where do I go from here? In which direction should I row my boat? How can I escape the storm I can sense is coming towards me? Can I face it alone? Can I – a tiny, miserable wretch of what they call a human being- face the loud, angry storms of the world?
I need someone, don’t I? Someone who will make the sun look brighter, someone who will face the storms with me, someone who will help me row my boat towards life and freedom.
May be I should just close my eyes, maybe I’ll not be alone when I open them again..
May be I shouldn’t row at all, maybe I should just let the drift of life carry me along. Maybe I should just leave it to you to lead me to my destiny. What should I do?